Moving On

I have decided that it is basically impossible to "move on" in the way I thought moving on meant. Ok wait, not impossible, just fucking dumb. Why would you choose to completely dismiss everything and every moment you shared with a person or in a specific place or during a time in your life? Whether it be good, bad or in between, what happened happened and in one way or another it has shaped the person you are today. Everything we experience in life affects us in some way. Sometimes we don't even realize it changes us, sometimes it kicks us in the face like Chuck Norris and we need new faces.

Besides the internal struggle of your own emotions, which can go from "I'm totally ok" to "I'm a fucking mess, how do I even survive the day" in a matter of minutes, you also have the anxiety of what everyone else is thinking about your situation. All the "Does she really think she will make it at a huge university?" or "Hmm...already talking to another girl. That was fast." or "Why in the hell would she ever even think of going back with him?" It's hard enough to deal with self-doubt when facing a major change or leap of faith, to deal with everyone's opinion on top of that is just unnecessary punishment.

Basically my advice to you is, fuck them. Fuck them all. As long as you feel you are doing the right thing by you, fuck....them... By no means does this mean you should go smoke meth or anything like that, this is for like healthy, thought out shit. If you have always wanted to move to LA and pursue acting, do it. If you want to go back to school, do it. If you want to break up with your current boyfriend so you can date a guy who deals crack and you really want to start doing crack, I strongly advise against it. Don't be fucking stupid and get your ass in some kind of meeting, your life choices are terrible. Like if you really think your relationship isn't working out or you're not happy then fine, break up with the boyfriend but put down the crack pipe and quit being fucking disgusting. Crack is wack, yo.

It's safe to say that everyone has their own point of "moving on". Moving on doesn't have to mean you're completely over what happened, it doesn't have to mean you pretend it never was. You can move on and still be sad sometimes, still wonder if you made the right choice, the right school, the right city, the right person. I think Rob explained it best when I asked him about a macroeconomics course. He had taken a similar course and hated it, when I asked him why he said because it makes no sense to figure something in relation to 100% productivity since there isn't really such a thing as 100% productivity. Humans and our emotions are an inconsistent variable, which is just fine. We don't have to strive for 100% certainty because in all actuality there is no 100%. That's just life.

In closing, as I always say, do what feels right to you. Fuck the haters, screw all those who judge you and your situation, it's really none of their business. Just try to be happy and if you can't, just be. Be in the moment, it will all come to you eventually. Also don't do crack.