Monday, December 22, 2014

Turn Down For Whhaaaa?

A few weeks ago I went out with mah friends for a girls night out and someone asked "Are your friends not fun?" directed towards me and my other friend. WHAT?! Me?! Not FUN?! Are you freaking kidding me? I'm the most fun person you'll ever meet, bitches. So why was this poor, half cocked girl so confused to assume that I am NOT fun? Was it drugs? Does she need an intervention? Does she need to be called out in a blog that she doesn't know about but someone might show her someday? You bet your sweet ass she does. As I contemplate what possible way I would ever be seen as not fun, I guess there were a couple reasons I came off as a little..ahem.."not fun" last night. Here they are!

1. I was driving. There were a lot of people out, I was driving with like 3 other people in the car and I felt like being responsible. Sue me. I guess I'm just a great friend.

2. I've been trying to lose weight and I have been losing weight so my pants were really big which very much inhibits any twerking action I felt like partaking in. Kind of hard to pop, lock and drop it when you don't have a belt and your pants are constantly falling off. So yeah, once again, sorry for being so hot I guess. And too cheap to buy new jeans. They're expensive, ok.

3. There was like a ton of freaking people at the place we were at and sometimes I don't like rubbing up against random people when trying to get from point A to point B. I don't know what kind of diseases these people have, we don't know that Ebola didn't get it's jump off up in da club from sweaty people grinding on each other. Plus it might be really fun if you are some hard body babe trying to squeeze past a couple guys, they probably enjoy having your lady parts all up on their backs but when you have the extra curves which I have, you tend to just get a lot of dirty looks and feel in the way the entire time. So I rather sit, out of the way, and not get scowled at by guys who either want nothing to do with me or think I'm a bitch because I don't strike up conversation with them as my ginormous boobs slowly slide across their being on my way to the bathroom.

4. Actually you know what, forget number 4. I don't have to justify why I just happened to not be in the mood to socialize for one night.

By now you should know how ridiculously long it takes me to finish a blog post. Well thankfully this once took a couple weeks because the most mind blowing thing happened to me THIS weekend which goes hand in hand PERFECTLY with what I was talking about when I first started writing this. I feel like this entire post is going to either make me lose or win friends but I'm doing it. Seriously, my friendship needs to come with a disclaimer that says "If you talk to this person you may or may not end up on a blog that 35 people read."

So this weekend I was bombarded by the exact opposite reaction. Apparently I'm a freaking ride or die, guns ablazin', party all night, dance off pants off, ain't goin home til 6 in the mornin' type girl. At least that's the impression I have made on at least one person who I have never, ever met in my entire life. So how is it that I can be suddenly pegged as these two opposing profiles? Is it just these people have terrible judge of character? Has my secret double life finally been brought to light by a couple of Nancy Drews? No. not at all. It just goes to show that you shouldn't determine who a person is without at least getting to know them a little. You really can't rely on pictures and third party stories to give you insight on how a person lives their life. At least I come off as insanely interesting.

Love always,
Rac"Turnt Up"hel