Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Hey you, with the low self esteem....

For the person reading this who struggles with low self esteem.....I'm sorry. I wish I could help you.

Because I know what it feels like to not feel good enough. To not be pretty enough or skinny enough. I know what it's like to avoid mirrors because you don't want to be reminded of what you look like, it will just make you anxious for the rest of the day.
I know what it feels like to see other girls on Facebook who get a hundred likes per selfie. I know what it's like to tell yourself, "Psh. Who cares?" I know how we try to rationalize it by thinking, "I could get that many likes if my tits were halfway out in my pictures too".

I also know what it's like the next day when you take a picture of yourself and pull your shirt down a little lower than usual but then feel stupid because that's not the kind of woman you want to be. You rather be highly regarded for your character, admired for your real beauty, not "liked" because of your cleavage. You think, "Ha. Thank God I have more respect for myself than those girls...." as you bare your shoulder and take a 50th snapshot. Maybe this will be the one.

I know what it's like to never believe him when he says, "I like your body. I like how you look." I know what it's like when you first notice the slight annoyance in his voice, when he has to reassure you once again, for the 100th time.

I know what it's like to get insanely jealous. Because deep down you're positive you aren't good enough and when they figure it out, oh boy, they'll be out the door.

I know what it's like to feel like you're not worth much at all. To feel like you weren't worth chasing after. You weren't worth the trouble of keeping.

I know what it's like to feel like your friends deserve a better friend. Or found a better friend. You can't blame them, you aren't much fun anymore and you just seem sad all the time. And you don't really want to go out anymore because then people will see you and if they can see you, they can judge you and you just can't really handle that right now.

I know what it's like to wonder if you'll always be alone. To feel like it's somehow your fault that you're alone. I know what it's like to cling on a little too tightly to someone because inside you're screaming, "Please don't leave me. DON'T LEAVE ME. I can't be alone."

I know what it feels like. I know what it all feels like. And I wish I could make things easier for you.

I wish I could show you how amazing you are, how strong you are.

I wish I could gather up all the people who see beauty in you, who respect and admire you just to show you that those people really do exist.

I wish I could point out your greatness to you and make you realize how insignificant your "biggest flaws" really are. Because I barely notice them, I only see good.

I wish, just for a moment, I could give you an outside perspective from the eyes of someone that loves you. So even just for 5 minutes you could feel the way you make others feel when they are near you.

I wish I could share with you what it's like to have memories of you that replay during random times. The stifled laughter that gets strange looks at the grocery store because something reminds me of you. Or seeing something that makes me think, "Oh my gosh. They would love this!"

A random tag on Facebook that says so much more than just the words or the picture on the screen. It says, "I'm thinking about you" "This reminds me of you" Or "I know you'll find something in this as I did."

I wish I could show you what you mean to me and everyone else.

But until the day you can see these things on your own, I promise to do what I can to show you what you mean to me. Because whether you believe it or not, you're worth it.