Rob and I dated for close to 6 years before we tied the knot and I'm fairly sure that means the marriage was premeditated. I think he had plenty of time to decide if he really wanted to take on this myriad of unpredictable actions and behaviors which is myself. I'm not an easy person to live with but then again sometimes I am. Sometimes I am an excellent housekeep, most of the time I'm ok at it, and sometimes there is rabbit poop in the hallway. I bring home things like used accordions and random animal bones (Yeah I know, creepy, but I was going to make art darn it!) but I also bring home bomb pops and cinnamon rolls for him. I'm a pretty open person and I have always shared my past willingly with him, he knows a lot more than I think he'd like to know about me. But there was one little tiny thing that I never told him about, one miniscule detail I wanted to keep to myself. My one dirty little secret.
Well shortly after we moved into our new home in 2009, I finally decided to tell Rob and now I will share it with you. In high school there was this guy, unlike anyone I had ever met, you could say we were extremely close, but only for a short time. We were one in the same; he gave me the power to be someone else, someone who wasn't held to the same standards set forth by society. The lyrics to Freebird pulsed through veins when I was with him, I wasn't just hearing the words, oh no, I was LIVING THEM! He was a blonde god among men, made of truth and freedom and body hair.
His name...Dick Cockburn.
Ok it’s really just me in a mustache and a mullet wig. This
photo is from Dick's second appearance, this is how Rob found out about him.
The first time I ever "met" Mr. Richard Cockburn was in high school,
my best friend Lynsey and I were just hanging out on like a Saturday evening
when we decided to dress up all 80's or something, suddenly he came to me. That
mullet wig called to me, kind of like a call of the wild. The one in the picture is in fact the original mullet wig I wore the day Dick was born, but
my first 'stache wasn't nearly that nice. I did not have access to awesome fake
mustaches back in the day, so thanks to a unwilling donation from my Persian
cat Brody, who happened to be the exact same color as the wig, and some glue, I
was able to fashion myself a sweet cat fur mustache. A little saran wrap and a
roll of duck tape later, I shimmied into some awesome acid washed jeans, threw
on my denim vest and the rest was history!
It's not out of my character to adopt different personas,
but I felt like the shock of reverse drag would be too much for Rob to handle.
I couldn't have been more wrong, though he was a little hesitant at first he eventually
came around and accepted my newest quirk. He told me he loved me and would
always accept me no matter what I did or wore. He softly brushed a blonde mullet tendril off of my face as he told me he just wanted me to be
happy and if dressing up like a creepy guy stuck in the 1980's once in a while
is what made me happy, then damn it he was ok with that! He straightened out my crooked mustache and said to me "Fly Freebird, Fly".
Alright so I made up that reaction. What really happened was I
came out of the bedroom dressed like a dude with a rolled sock in my pants and
his reply was something like "What the f$&% is that about?" Until next time! Rock on!
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