Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Creative Writing

I'm currently taking a composition II course which you would think I would enjoy because, you know, writing. Well by the second week and I'd already managed to tell my book to go f- itself and I've been harboring just this side of hatred for the high school aged kids in the class who were already working way ahead of everyone else. Apparently these teens don't have any lives and they  just do homework all the time. Nerds. I mean, I also spend a ridiculous amount on homework but it just makes me anxious when people work so far ahead and I'm still on the first couple of assignments. I'm not bitter I just hope all their work is rushed and they fail miserably. That's all.

I never tried at school but when you pay for it out of pocket, it's a different story. I've also discovered that its really not that hard, you just have to read shit, remember it, do the work exactly like it tells you to and you get an A. Unless your instructor decides they hate you, even though they've never met you, and grades unfairly, which is exactly what my paranoid little brain thought was happening until I realized that I wasn't actually being graded unfairly, I just didn't read the question well enough and didn't write half of the answer down. And by realized, I mean I emailed the instructor to ask how I view the essay question part of my quiz because I wanted to see why I was deducted points.It may have been a little pointed...a little..maybe..

I've gone from not caring about grades at all to being a total dick and threatening to Rob last semester, "SHE WORDED THAT QUESTION COMPLETELY WRONG, I'M NOT A MIND READER. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT SHE WANTED? GIVE ME A 97% WILL YOU! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT, LADY!"

What can I say, sometimes I care. I promised to keep my shit together this semester but these little work ahead assholes are already throwing me off. Actually, it's really suspicious. How did they get all this stuff read and written in that amount of time? Cheating little fucks.

Something else I realized that I just can not handle is criticism of my writing. Actually it's not even criticism, it's literally someone through the tutor service telling me very nicely, "Hey! You're doing a really good job on your rough draft, but I noticed that you don't have a clear thesis statement. Here are some helpful tips on how to do that!" All they are doing is trying to help me correct my shit so I get a good grade but I'm sitting over here, off the rails, "YOU WANT A CLEAR THESIS STATEMENT?! HOW ABOUT THIS ONE 'SUCK MY BLEEEEEPPPP'". And then I snapped my laptop in half.

I mean I LITERALLY didn't even write a thesis statement, I KNEW I didn't write a thesis statement. In fact I made the conscious, semi wine buzzed decision to only follow like half of the criteria because I was aware that I had to re-write it anyways. I'm that stubborn and ridiculous. It's shameful, I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Luckily I managed to come away on that paper with 100% which makes sense considering I wrote it in like an hour about using Veet Wax Strips on my womanly bits. Yes, I'm that student. Don't worry, I noted I was a 29 year old adult lady so as to creep the instructor out even more. I also used an abundance of passionately written metaphors, like "causalities in the war to liberate my lady garden..." Not weird at all. I'm assuming I'll be getting a bill for his therapy any day now.

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