Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Animal Control

There is something you should know about me, I have a habit of picking up stray animals. In fact, the last time I picked up two dogs the animal control guy gave me a leash to keep in my car. I almost always have a leash in my car but I took two of them out just a week or two before, so he offered me one to leave in there, you know, for all the stray dog catching I do. I have been around animals my entire life. I can tell by their body language how they are feeling, I don't lack common sense and I'd never full on approach an animal if I felt like I was putting myself in unnecessary danger. Unless I looked into it's eyes and could see the good in it. Much like those women who fall in love with serial killers spending life in prison. LET ME FIX YOU!

I had the leash in my car and I thought to myself "HEY. This is great for dogs...but what about the other critters?" Of course! I'll throw the rabbit's carrier in there too, Magnus won't mind. I rolled around town for a couple weeks with my carrier and leash until the husband needed to use the vehicle. Let's just say he was NOT on board with my idea of outfitting the unlimited (my Ford Escape) with all my critter control tools. I also told him that he couldn't be my deputy and assigned him to evidence collection and hazmat crew. Basically his job is cleaning up any poop accidents. He immediately resigned and told me to take the carrier out of the blankity-blank car.

Low and behold, last week I was tagged in a post asking if my rabbit was out running around a neighborhood a few blocks from me. It was not Mags, he was safe and cozy in the house, it was another pet bunny that had either escaped of been "freed". So I took it upon myself to save this rabbit's life. I messaged the person who posted the initial picture but by that time it had run off and hid. Two days later I received a pm that it came back. My niece and I jumped in the critter control vehicle when I got off work and off we went wabbit huntin'. By some miracle, I had the rabbit caught and secured in about 15 minutes. It went waayyy better than anyone ever imagined. Everyone came out unscathed and Ellie and I looked as professionally badass as a 7 year old in cowboy boots and a 28 year old in a TMNT shirt running around with a banana singing "Bad bun, bad bun. Whatcha gon doo, whatcha gon do when dey come fa you.." softly under their breath could possibly look. Yes, rabbits love bananas and yes I wear my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt A LOT and yes I like having a soundtrack to go with everything I do.

I dropped off my deputy at her house and headed back to headquarters with the new little fella. Yes, it is definitely a boy. He had very prominent testicles. I made him up some temporary housing to chill in for a couple days until we found the owner or I could take him to a rescue. I did get a ton of judgmental looks from everyone in the household. I don't know why, bringing in stray, possibly diseased animals seems like a brilliant idea. Plus it's not like I was confident I would catch the thing. I mean it's an damn rabbit, who in the hell catches an effing rabbit? I just figured I'd give it a go so I could feel less guilty when I passed it on the way to work sometime the following week, dead in the middle of the road. I was just as surprised as anyone that I actually caught him. Considering how thin he was, he probably just didn't have it in him to fight me off. That and rabies.

A couple things I learned during this rabbit saving adventure:

#1. Not all rabbits are fluffy little clouds of fur like Magnus. Granted this stranger danger rabbit was pretty dirty from being out in the wilderness but even his little head furs are much coarser than Maggie's.

#2. If they aren't raised with dogs from 6 weeks old, they are terrified of them. Obviously I knew this but when my dogs came trotting down the stairs to check things out, I was not expecting this rabbit to go full on boxing stance and try to fight me while I was changing his water. Everyone is so use to our little chillaxin' bunny that even the dogs were like "WTF?! Why is this guy freaking out?!"

#3. Rabbits are not like dogs. Out of curiosity, I took Mags downstairs to observe the other rabbit, just to see what would happen. I figured it would be fine since they were separated by the cage and I would make sure my house bunny didn't get close to or touch anything near the outdoor bunny's cage, for health reasons. Well, didn't really have to worry because they barely even made eye contact before Magnus realized he's never explored the basement and took off to see what he could find. Neither rabbit could care less about the other one.

Something I have definitely realized is what an awesome rabbit I have in Magnus, not that there is anything wrong with the found bunny, he just isn't my baby. The new bunny is now safe at the Animal Rescue League, awaiting his new home. I hope he finds someone to love him as much as I love my little punkin.

Also I couldn't outright cry when dropping him off, I had an audience of my bestie, her daughter and my niece and I was trying to use it as a learning experience for the little girls that we were doing a very good thing for da bun. Believe me, if those kids weren't there I would have been a blubbering fool. Full on, curled up on the ground while using my legs to spin myself in a circle while ugly crying. The pain was real.

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