THE Blog Post.

Every time I log into Blogger, I get excited to see how many "hits" my blog has gotten since the previous login, about 15 minutes prior. What can I say, I like feeling special.

Well in the last few months, I've had one of my blog posts gain momentum on Pinterest. It's the one explaining the Father's Day post picture which I also happen to brag about my sweet crafting skills when I made those bad ass angel wings for a bachelorette party. This post. So I noticed a bunch of traffic from Pinterest and did a quick edit to explain how I made them because apparently people wanted an actual tutorial and not just pictures of me drunk performing an exorcism. Psssh. Who wouldn't want that? Weirdos.

At first it was cool because I was like, "What what! Pinterest famous! #blessed" but now I just feel used. Like a dirty, angel wing harlot. They didn't want me, they just wanted my angel wings. They don't even click around to humor me just wham, bam, thank you ma'am. One and done. Needless to say, my feelings are somewhat hurt and I am now dealing with a deep, internal struggle. Do I keep doing what I do, writing sporadic attempts at humor with no regard to what the public wants? Or do I give into society and begin only showcasing my amazing, yet boring craft skills in return for riches and fame?

By the lack of crafts in this post, you can see I clearly have chosen myself over the masses. I will stick to entertaining myself and the few of you that still read this, which thanks to Facebook's shitty pick and choose method of showing only certain posts, my reader numbers are slowly dwindling to only those dedicated followers. It doesn't deter me from writing at all, I do it mostly to get my thoughts out there and ruin any chance I will ever have at running for office. I mean, I definitely would be overjoyed if I could somehow make a living doing this. There is nothing I would like more than to bang out a couple blog posts a week, maybe get a book deal and sit at home the rest of the time hanging out with the dogs and rabbit and tv. Seeing as though I can't even get Google AdSense to approve my application WHICH I FILLED OUT MONTHS AGO, I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm guessing it has to do with most of this blog's lack of relevant content. I don't even know what I would have ads for. Maybe suppositories and human rabies vaccines? Any kind of rehab center? Cereal would make sense, because I fcking love cereal? I'm sure we could brainstorm and figure something out Google. Hit me back, yo.

For now I'll just have my Pinterest fame. Oh and also my couple weeks of hometown fame, since I was on the cover of a local magazine recently and mailed out to thousands of homes, looking like a giant compared to my co-cover models aka my co-workers. So I MS Paint fixed it so I look like a normal sized person...

Identities have been changed to protect the innocent

Thanks for reading, my true friends and one or two enemies.