Sunday, July 22, 2012

Meet Razzle

I thought I would introduce everyone to a couple of my personas, you've seen Dick (I'll have more background on him later) now I'd like you to meet Razzle.

Razzle Wunderlust is her name. She was born to an old hippie couple and they would spend the summers travelling the Mid U.S. selling beads and jewelry at various festivals and flea markets. Except for the one time they accidentally left her in Dayton, Ohio for a couple days when she was 9, life was pretty ordinary for little Razzle. During the school year, Razzle was home schooled, her parents felt like teachers and too much structure in a child's life would make them submissive and introverted. They always encouraged Razzle to be a free spirit and embrace who she was on the inside, and she did just that. Unfortunately her parents were terrible entrepreneurs and could barely afford to take care of themselves so at age 15 Razzle was sent to live with her aunt. Her aunt was much more strict than her hippie parents and also had a real job so Razzle was promptly enrolled into public school. Everyone there thought she was really weird and smelled like patchouli. Razzle would spend her lunch break singing and twirling in the sun, and the rest of her day staring out the window with a far off look in her eye. Her aunt work long hours so Razzle took that time to explore the city and make friends with the local bums and prostitutes, not on purpose, her hippie parents just never taught her about stranger danger.

At 18, Razzle's aunt told her she needed to go find a place of her own so she set off to start a new adventure. She got a job at a small diner where she met her roommate, Sparkle. Obviously Sparkle and Razzle were destined to become best friends, which they did. On the weekends, Sparkle and Razzle liked to go hang out at a weird dance club called "Chernobyl". They loved dancing to all the different international music the DJ would play. One night they were approached by one of the bartenders, Ramon, who worked at another club and he wanted them to check it out. Even though they didn't know Ramon all that well, they trusted him completely, something Razzle might have thought twice about if her damn hippie parents would have, once again, taught her about stranger danger, its important folks. So after Ramon finished his shift, he took the girls to this club he told them about. It was called "The Dirty Martini" and it was a strip club. Being free spirits, the girls decided to check it out and ended up talking to some of the dancers that worked there. Though Razzle and Sparkle did not see value in material items, they really wanted to travel some day and thought this might be a good place to make some extra cash. Besides, dancing was dancing, they would just have less clothes on. So like every single Lifetime movie ever made, soon things turned bad and the next thing you know Razzle is doing drugs and partying every night. She adopted the stage name "Dolla Bill" because God knows the name Razzle Wunderlust just wasn't strippery enough . One night after her shift, Ramon took Razzle to his friend's house where she meet two of the most horrific, terrifying creatures she had ever seen in her life. They called themselves Monisha and Bonisha, the prostituting hoes, they made their living flying around town on a razor scooter selling "thrills" as they called them, and even had their own ridiculous theme song. Well that was enough to make Razzle open her eyes and she vowed never to wrap her leg around a strip pole (for money) ever again! Razzle got clean and moved back in with her parents to start a new, honest way of life. Sparkle ended up falling off her trapeze one night (she was kind of a specialty act) and breaking her back. She tried to go back to stripping but soon the novelty of her act wore out. You see her vertebrae had to be fused together and no one wants to make it rain on a stripper who can only do the robot.

So that's a little about Razzle, I wish I had a picture of her but she believes getting her picture taken will steal her soul. Instead I have this composite sketch of her to share, enjoy!

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