Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Dieting and Other Things

July 23rd, 2012

My younger sister has been going through many-a-changes in the last year, one of them is adopting a new, healthier lifestyle. In her journey, she has managed to lose just over 50 pounds. Though I am very proud of her, I am also very jealous and angry with myself for not being healthier. I try, I really do. I wake up every morning with the intention of eating well and being active but I just really love food and eating said food. It's an activity I just really look forward to doing each day. And I like to eat a variety of things. For example, today I woke up, had a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys (yes, they are generic Lucky Charms and I don't care if they are made of crap, I like them) Ok I lied, I had two bowls...OK I LIED was three bowls. I'm so ashamed. So after breakfast, my friends text me to meet up for lunch before we went to the pool. I had a turkey melt sandwich thing and fries, usually I get a salad but the service was horrible and I didn't want to confuse the server or anything. After the pool, I came home and got ready to go to work at 4:00, ate a bomb pop and a few potato chips, once again I am going to justify this by saying I hardly ever eat potato chips, really, ask Rob. I also took a handful of cherries to work with me. After I got off work at 8:00, I ate a leftover BBQ country rib, yes a as in a single rib, it was pretty great and four jalapeno poppers. Oh yeah, I vaguely remember eating a few E.L. Fudge cookies.

Alright, as I write this I realize today was an exceptionally horrid day of eating to decide to share with everyone. I suppose this is why people keep food diaries. Ehhh, this is embarrassing, yet all I can think of right now is really wanting more Marshmallow Mateys. I'm beginning to think with all the money the generic cereal company saves by not putting their product in cardboard boxes, they spend on crack to sprinkle on their cereal so people become addicted to it. I can't think of any other explanation for these withdrawals I seem to have if I don't eat their cereal twice a day. That's the other thing I do, I go through food stages. I will not eat cereal for months, then I will eat it all the time. Two weeks ago I decided I loved cereal again and all last week I ate choco dynabites (generic coco pebbles) for breakfast, lunch and dinner some days. I also decided I loved english muffins with strawberry jam. This week I am still stuck on the english muffins but I'm sick of the dynabites and switched to the Marshmallow Mateys, which I have not eaten, bought, or really liked for the last 5 years. I usually go with the granola type cereals, Rob is more of the sweet cereal eater in the house.

Lately my tastes have been really weird, and no I'm not pregnant, and yes I am sure..very sure. It's ridiculous how every time I don't feel well, or have a food craving or gain weight or say anything people always get that goofy look on their face and ask "Are you pregggggnanttttt?????" No, I assure you I am not. "Are you suuureeeee?????" Yes I am very sure "Wellll there is a chance riiighhhtttt????"! But if you don't believe me, feel free to take a look. Oh I'm sorry, did this just get weird?! Did this innocent conversation just get super awkward between us? Wonderful, stop asking me if I'm pregnant!! Believe me, I don't keep a lot of things to myself, EVERYONE will know when I get pregnant! Not only because I love the attention and plan on making vast amounts of obnoxious t-shirts to wear around but also because I am a huge hypochondriac and will probably think I am at death's door every 3 days. You will know when the morning sickness begins because you will be invited to the reading of my will, every Thursday at 3:30 for three months. I will also be walking around constantly screaming "MY SCIATIC!!" while I hold my back. When you see me, stomach slightly swelled, in an electric wheelchair, covered in churro crumbs, you will know that I am pregnant! Well that post got weird so I leave you with this, dieting isn't real, I'm not pregnant and they try to make me go to cereal rehab but I said

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