Thursday, February 2, 2017

Alone Time

I love my cats, I really do. They are great. Everyday I get home they greet me at the door, they always seem to know when I'm sad and need some kitten love, they make me laugh with their antics constantly, except for the occasional flying claws out sneak attack they are the best roommates I've ever had. Well, the attacks and one other thing.

The problem with animals is they don't give a fuck when it comes to personal space or more specifically, personal time. And as much as I try to explain to them that mom needs some time alone to do, ahem, alone things they don't seem to understand.

"Ok guys, we need to talk about last night. Though I appreciate that you wanted to hang out, it makes me very uncomfortable when I'm trying to, errr, alleviate stress and you decide to walk all over me or start batting at the blankets or meow directly into my face. I understand some of this is my fault for not locking you out of the room but sometimes things just happen spur of the moment. Anyways I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. I mean I let you guys go down to the basement and do your weird yowling thing without bugging you so I don't think it's much to ask that you not bother me while I'm doing my thing. Sooo we cool?"

 They weren't really picking up what I putting down, so I tried to be a little more straight forward.

"I feel like you guys aren't getting it. Woman and men sometimes have needs and urges and sometimes when we are alone we decide to act on those urges. It's nothing to be ashamed about, lots of people do it but when I catch you looking at me with your judgemental stares, it really kills the mood and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. So if you could, during that time, possibly go find something else to do I would really appreciate it...."

Still they just stared at me

"Stop watching me masturbate."

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