Tall Girl

Someone called me "tall girl" about 34 months ago, so I started writing this and never finished. I don't believe in time, tis but an illusion. Anyways back to the point, I'm ok with Tall Girl, it's much better than giant which I've been called a lot. And a whole lot better than the other things I've been called in my life. I'm not always well received...

I'm tall. Not THAT tall but yeah I'm nearly a half foot taller than the "average" for women in the US. Someday I'll lose another 30 or so pound and then I'll be tall and skinny and I'm sure life will be perfect....har har har.

One good thing about my height is when people are being jerks, especially when I'm at work, I can nonchalantly get up and walk past them after they just chewed me out. I must not look that tall while sitting because they usually change their tone. 'Uh..well..uh..." Or when someone is trying to intimidate one of my co-workers, I can saunter up and with my man voice ask "What seems to be the problem here?" Does it actually work? I dunno. Is it actually my prison face tattoo and baritone voice that is intimidating? Could be. Are they just so focused on trying to not make eye contact with my no soul, Teletubby like stare that they have forgotten what they are complaining about because I'm so creepy? It's a good possibility.

Also the long legs come in handy...for running from bears, as in highway patrol...I'm guessing. I have the non-running edition but I can take several stairs at a time, which is cool. I also decided after years of complaining about how "I'm not allowed to wear heels" "Who says that?" "They"  "They who?" "Ummm....society?" I can in fact wear whatever I want on my feet and screw people if they have an issue with it. Maybe they should have thought about that before they stopped growing. So I've been wearing heels lately....good story right?

Like I don't mind being tall and Amazon like but it definitely has it's draw backs. I'm never going to get to be one of those girls who gets picked up and carried off during a hug like those petite, super feminine little things. Unless the other person is super tall and strong. Sometimes tall people don't look like they weigh that much but trust me, it's just spread out more. I am pretty freaking solid. Even my doctor the other day looked at my chart and said, "Huh..obesity. You don't look obese at all." I assure you, I am. Brick fucking house. Maybe she was just being nice because she was about to give me my annual vagina examination, who knows but it was nice to hear.

I've accepted I'll never get to be lifted and pushed up against a wall in the throes of passion but I have other attributes. Need a couch moved? I'm there! Something off the top shelf? Definitely! Perhaps I can help you hang this portrait or help you paint! I'm super good at cleaning gutters or dusting fan blades. You know what's really sexy? Usefulness. I'm kind of like a good table, I'm solid and sturdy. And there's nothing wrong with that.