It seems like I'm constantly being threatened with, "I'll tell everyone you're crazy..." To which I respond "........don't I already do that by blogging about it all the time?" I guess it is a lot worse in person than what I type out? I dunno, it's weird but in case you hadn't heard, I'm crazy.
Not just a little crazy, a whole lotta crazy. I have days where I'm super depressed. I bet no one can relate with me on that one. I have days were my emotions are a hot train wreck. Yeah so far it seems pretty crazy. Sometimes I just cry. Look out guys. I'm not saying I'm normal but I am saying that yeah, last time I checked I never denied having issues.
I think the one thing that I have always been worried about is a video my ex boyfriend took of me during one of my episode. It's pretty embarrassing but the more I think about it, the more I don't care if he posts it or shows people. Why? Because in the video, I'm laying on the floor, curled up, begging for him to call someone. The police, my mom, I say over and over I need help and to please call someone. Instead, he chose to continue recording and not help me at all. Long story, short. I guess I really rather be seen as crazy than the world's biggest asshole.
I really wish I had that video, I'd post it myself. In fact, I'd love to have video of any of my episodes. It would greatly help me as far as treatment goes. See I'm really not the kind of person who refuses to admit they have a problem. I rather admit to it and get the help I need. Which I've been doing for over a year now.
In closing, yes I am crazy. Does it suck? Yep. Do I wish things were easier for me? Yep. Believe me, it's hard enough living life every day with all these extra heavy emotions, I really don't feel like I should have to defend myself to anyone. I've accepted who I am, if someone doesn't like it they can kiss my crazy ass :)
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment