Remember when I was all "I will be posted my New Year's post soon.." JUST KIDDING!! But I made you this instead:
So I have become INTENSELY lazy recently and am kicking myself to do more blogging. It just seems like nothing is going on in my brain. No electric pulses of creativity, for God's sake it's been months since I dressed Magnus up for a photo shoot. I've been on a Pinterest hiatus but have found myself drawn back the last few days. Which isn't helping because after my first few blog posts I was like "Woohoo I could totally do this all the time" and then I see these other people's blogs and I'm like "Holy f-balls......what was I thinking?! I can't compete with real bloggers" I mean have you seen some of these blogs?! Southern accent "I am a stay at home mom with four kids. Browse through these pictures I took with my obviously very expensive, high quality camera. This is a recent project in which I refinish this dresser to put into my bedroom that looks like it came straight out of a "House Beautiful" article. Oh I also lost 300 lbs in three years, have abs of steel, make delicious meals every night, in the crockpot, on a budget and apparently am a G-D graphic designer. Yay!" I don't know where these bitches come from, are they bred like pedigree dogs? Because this is not a normal occurrence in nature. In fact I'm kind of pissed that these high levels of determination and drive even exist and they are thoroughly documented online, yet I have had NO CALLS about the incredibly low levels of determination I deal with. I would be the perfect contestant for a literal version of "The Biggest Loser". Just a 24/7 feed of my hopes and dreams slowly slipping away due to self sabotage as I lay on the couch playing Candy Crush Saga eating carbs.What? You wouldn't watch that? I would, of course, I love TV.
It's not like I don't want my blog to be great and have a bunch of followers, that would be cool. And I would love to have companies send me free swag to talk about, even if it's just rabbit food makers or obscure man wig manufacturers. But it looks like soooo mucchhh woorrkk..maybe if my to do list wasn't already 6 pages long I could squeeze some researching and blogging awesomeness in there but as of right now, my free time is better spent vacuuming and cleaning. Seriously, I was cleaning out my frig the other day and there was dog hair under the drawers at the bottom. How does that even happen? I don't recall ever shutting a dog in the fridge but then again I have been drinking more than usual since Thanksgiving. Plus I think a lot of it is following other people's blogs and I have this weird idea that my mind would be tainted if I read other people's funny stuff and I wouldn't be able to write my own honest and open views on things. I would start writing about homeschooling my kids and paleo-diets, I could see it becoming this whole Single White Female thing and it would just get weird. So for now you just get the bare bones with a couple of pictures thrown in once in a while.
Also I, like many, am a big fan of instant gratification. I am extremely impatient sometimes. Like if Rob and I are having a conversation about acquiring something, once we decide it's a go, I'm out the door.
Rob, shuffling papers "Well it looks like we can start looking for a new car!"
Me "YEAHHHHHH! LET'S GO NOW!"
Rob "Ummm...It's 2:00 in the morning"
Me "YEAHHHHHH! WE ARE CrAzY LATE NIGHT CAR BUYERS!"
Rob "It's not even open. We can't go buy one right this instant."
Me "YEAHHHHHH! WE ARE GOING TO STEAL A NEEEEW CAR!!" in my Oprah voice
And then he locks me in the bedroom and I scream "I'm TOO EXCITED TO SLEEEPPP!!" giggling and kicking all the blankets off the bed.
Obviously these other bloggers have dedicated a lot of their time to working on their blogs and it was probably a couple years before they started getting a large fan base. When they share their blog on Facebook it probably reaches a lot more people, because they have more Facebook friends than me. They probably have more Facebook friends because they are easy........to talk to. And they sleep around :D just kidding?
So anyways, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think I might go get my fitness on. It's pretty tough on the streets, I need to be in peak condition for my upcoming dance fight. It will be spectacular!
Hey! After 9 people read this I'll have 1500 hits :D
Sure half of them are probably from fake computer robots trying to spam me but I'll take it!
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