So a few month agooooo.... I had an interesting conversation with someone and it kept bugging me so I wrote about it. I didn't get around to posting it because I'm lazy and I felt like I needed enough of a buffer to not be obvious about it. It was a post explaining the feelings I had that ended with an uplifting message about forgiveness and empathy. Today, I'm feeling a little different about the situation because today I'm in one of those 'zero fox given' modes. I keep telling myself to put down the keyboard but I'm a sucker for dramatics so away we go!
Hey. What's up? You seemed a little pointed in that conversation we had. In fact, everyone I shared it with, which I seem to have a lot of people who care about me so I shared it with quite a few, all thought it was pretty fucking ridiculous. They wanted me to respond with some fairly harsh words but here's the thing, I don't care. I do not care how you feel about me. I don't care if you feel I wronged you in some way because I know that anyone else who looks at this situation would agree that you were the one who is being irrational. You disliking me for what essentially you made the choice to become involved in, doesn't affect my life one iota. I'm not going to feel bad for something I had nothing to do with. And I can promise the other side of the party that was actually involved, doesn't give an eff either.
Also, if you haven't realized, everyone has shit in their lives. You act like you are the only one dealing with it, you're not. You're not some special circumstance where everything falls on you just a little harder than everyone else. One time you told me there are two types of people in the world, those who act like a victim and those who don't. There are two other kinds of people, those who try see things for what they are and handle it in a healthy, understanding way and then there are those who decide to be a Negative Nancy and attempt to make others feel bad because they feel they are owed something. I can admit, sometimes I'm the latter but at least I fucking own it. At least I'm aware of my own unhealthiness and I don't blame it on other people.
Feel free to take some time to reflect on exact what you're pissed off about. If you're able, which after all these years of holding on to shit I have very little confidence you are, take a look at it from the other side. Don't just look for reasons to justify your feelings, open yourself to the possibility that there was and maybe still is something much deeper than the initial issue you chose to attach your feelings to.
Me writing all this might seem like I give a shit but I assure you I don't. I'm writing all this because I feel like you obviously surround yourself in people who only try to cater to your best interest, whether they truly feel that way or not. It just makes me feel grateful I have family and friends that call me out on my bullshit. It would really kind of suck to live in a world of self imposed ignorance.
*drops mic*
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