Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Nice Ads: You been working out?

First of all, I want to say thank you to all those who view my blog! Whether you like me or hate me, I appreciate the dedication to whichever side of the cause you are on. I can't say it enough how sincerely grateful I am that people actually read this crap. Truly grateful. I love you all.

Secondly, now that Google finally approved my blog to display ads, as shitty as they might be at times, I am proud to announce my blog has finally gotten off it's lazy ass and starting pulling it's weight around here. Yes, that's right, my blog has made me money. This cash cow has raked me in a whole $1.16 in the last two months. I'm thinking about quitting my job. Actually, I find the ads a little annoying (not you Amazon Kindle, we cool) but I figure if I keep my chin up maybe someday they will be better. Like right now, as I am typing this, the ad displayed is a poor quality, probably stolen off someone's old MySpace page picture of a very respectable woman dressed like a skank with the caption "Get a Girlfriend now" in a generic font. Full of class, just like myself.

I was kind of upset when I realized the ads I was so thrilled to get ended up being a bunch of weird, phishy looking dating sites and "talk to women near you" banners. Apparently they feel those ads are relevant to my blog..perhaps it is time for me to self-reflect on the content I am posting. I'm working on getting those ads changed but until then try to restrain yourself from clicking them. Sure I will make like 5 cents if you do but it's really, really not worth it to me. Feel free to click away if the Amazon Kindle guy comes back or any other legitimate looking ad. Other than that, just steer clear. Especially if you are a relative and are just going to end up calling me and asking "Can you come look at my computer?! IT'S acting WEIRD..." Yeah well, don't click on my shitty ads. Life lessons.

30 seconds later
Update: Hahahaha. Funny story. So I published this post and viewed it so I could share it to Facebook, as one does, when I realized I'm a total fucking idiot. Obviously, AdSense is one of those things that pulls your search history for what ads to display. When I pulled my blog up on my phone it displayed an ad for Comic Con and clothing store. Clearly the weird hot singles and get a Girlfriend dressed like a skank ads are targeting my laptop history. I thought to myself "MY HUSBAND HAS GOT SOME MOTHER PLUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO." Then I remembered he uses his own laptop and I had a flashback to one of my late night pursuing of those creepy Craigslist personal ads. Yes, I admit it, sometimes I look at those creepy ads in hopes of snapchatting some really great pictures to my bestie. DON'T JUDGE ME.
Honestly I can't believe I'm such an idiot. I was blinding by my new-found fortune. I'm still posting this and feel free to give me shit about it forever and ever.

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