Thursday, June 5, 2014

Dear Diary

Some days I wake up and it's like my brain has been reset, I completely forget how to function. I don't know how to dress myself, I'm screwing up at work, I forget how to communicate with my face hole. The struggle is real. I have been stressed out lately so I'm assuming some of it has to do with that but I think some of it probably has to do with the fact that I'm just getting older and I just forget. My memory is terrible, I attribute some of it to the Internet, my brain is so used to a bombardment of information that some of those other memories just get pushed aside. I seriously can entertain myself by reading my old posts because I don't remember writing many of them and so they all seem new and super funny to me. My brain is too full, if that's a thing. When I went to visit my Grandma (she's super smart), she told me she keeps a journal when she travels and writes down everything she did, so I thought I would start that as well. Except I was so busy every day that I only very briefly summarized our activities and now I'm kicking myself for not taking the time to do it. Since it's not just vacations I'm having trouble remembering, I was thinking I could just keep a journal everyday. A big endeavor for someone who can't manage posting on their blog once a month. But if you are going to keep a journal to remind yourself of all the things you want to remember, all the feels and such, you would have to be brutally honest and straight forward when you wrote in it. If you truly wanted to be reminded, which I would, there would be some very personal things written in there. Now this leads to several issues, here are just a couple examples of why this could end horribly.

1. I die a terrible and untimely death, family comes across my journal and read in resulting in an incredibly awkward memorial service and funeral. If they even decided I deserved one at all.

2. Husband comes across it and decides for some reason mah bidness is his bidness, reads it and I get served divorce papers. Soon find out I am not an actual responsible adult, I just look like it sometimes, and end up living in my mom's backyard with 23 cats, 19 bunnies, a couple of squirrels and a raccoon because I think I'm Snow White or a majestic animal whisperer.

3. Something happens to one of my many acquaintances, my journal is confiscated and I spend the next 25 to life years in prison because I'd easily be found guilty by a jury of my peers. "I didn't mean I would actually stab them.. I was framed!"

4. Lose journal, stranger finds it, reads it, is fully disturbed and turns it into the police. The government spend lots of time an effort trying to decipher what the hell it says until they decide "f*ck it just throw the bitch in a padded room". OR maybe I stumble upon some secret government conspiracy, write down what I know, they find out and have me....silenced. I feel this is the most likely scenario. Because I'm like super good at detective-ing and shit.

So I probably won't be keeping a journal anytime soon.

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