Monday, July 8, 2013

What I learned on my 27th Birthday...

Holy crap. I have officially reached a new low in the blogging world. Not only am I totally slacking in posted ANYTHING but I also completely blew off posting anything for my poor neglected bloggy's birthday! Yes my little blog is now a one year old and this past weekend I celebrated a birthday of my own. Whoop! It was my 27th birthday and at first I was not too pumped about it about. 27 isn't a cool number like 21 or 25 or even 30 but I found out that every experience can be a learning experience so here is what I learned on my 27th birthday:

1. Husband knows best. One birthday gift I asked for this year was throwing knives, why? Because throwing knives sound awesome. The Husband is a genius because not only did he prevent anyone from buying me throwing knives but he also gave me some super awesome gifts that I liked WAY MORE than throwing knives. How in the hell do you make someone happier by NOT getting them something they asked for?! He is brilliant, I'm telling ya. Luckily I was able to convince my sister to buy them off Amazon for me so be watching the paper for my upcoming throwing knife accident.

2. I look like a bitch. I always thought to look like a bitch you had to be really pretty and fit looking but after being accosted by an angry lesbian while out celebrating my birthday who felt the need to tell me I was a bitch every 3 minutes when I was literally doing NOTHING, I learned that hey anyone can be a bitch, even if they aren't trying! In case you are wondering why I point out or how I knew she was a lesbian, my first clue was her appearance. Now I don't usually judge people by what they look like so I had to rely on other factors, like her telling me what I could do to her anytime, before coming to the conclusion that she might like girls. Which is fine by me. Just don't tell me how cute I am followed by an insult. That shit's rude.

3. My mom has to be reminded several times my birthday is approaching but will still forget to call me on my actual birthday. Geezzz. You will also be told you need to have a baby, by everyone.

4. Birthday cake flavored vodka does NOT taste like birthday cake.

5. If you lose $22 dollars on your birthday, you will find it again. Especially if you are at a super uncrowded bar and it fell out on the floor of the scary, basement dungeon of a bathroom no one wants to go in. 

6. When you turn 27 years old, you realize that having your friends, family and a bunch of wild kids at your house, playing in the pool, grilling out and eating cake, trumps going out to the bars as a birthday celebration. I'm not saying this is the last year I will be going out for my birthday but from now on I can safely say, "I'm getting to old for this".

So that's it. All the knowledge I can think of the bestow on you at this time.  I'll try not to be such a bad friend and keep up better on posting. kloveyou.bye!

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