Sunday, June 9, 2013

Facebook Reposts- Rachel: A Memoir

I was browsing my own Facebook profile today when I found a "note" that I had posted back in 2009 that made me laugh. Automatic blog post? I think so! Reading it over I realize I was kind of a little bitch. For the record it's NOT ok to make fun of people because you think they are weird. I clearly wrote this before I realized I am weird myself. I could have re-wrote it and taken out the parts that I thought I was being too mean but I was who I was and editing it now doesn't change that fact. Please enjoy:

Haha.. this is a great example of who I am..

SO .. today I was going through all my crafting supplies, paper, etc and I hidden in a file folder I found a little something that is just an perfect example of me. What I found was a couple notes I just have to share with the world. I used to work at this place with a man named Phil, maybe in his 40's (?), and a gal named Julie, late 40's early 50's (?)..Some how , some way I started this thing at work where I would write funny little love notes to Phil everyday I worked, also involved in this love triangle was a guy, a guy who came in all the time, was just a little stinky, or very stinky, pretty fat, very unattractive,wore this great looking gold gym shorts and also had no idea how much we made fun of him, which looking back, I can see why we did, he was so weird.. (haha being cruel is another word for being honest).. we will call him.. *Tom* (name has been changed to protect the innocent)

Now for an exert from the book of Rachel:A Memoir: the High School Senior Year Edition
I will begin with a responsive note from phil to me:

Thanks for the rest of the candy. I can't believe *Tom* parted with food and gave it away. I know the REAL reason you gave me the rest of the candy. You miss me and want me back don't you! I know *Tom* is more of a man than I am ( about 140 lbs) more probably, but if he is willing to give you up, I'll take you back. I'm the biggest catch since Moby Dick so don't let this chance get away. Forever yours, Phil.. P.S. The box is empty, but my heart isn't! (Note: this was stuck on the top of an empty chocolate box.

My response to Phil:

I've noticed *tom* hasn't been up to visit lately and when I saw him ringing bells outside of the mall he didn't say a word to me. Is this another one of your cheap shots to break up our once beautiful relationship? I tried to get a hold of him to ask if he would join me for my family Christmas. He won't return my calls so I am not returning his gold gym shorts. Something smells fishy here Phil, and its not his BO. These childish games have to stop. I love you Phil, but I'm not IN LOVE with you. You have to understand... what I need right now is a that friend Phil, be that friend.

Now a note I found at work another day.. from..well lets find out...

Owner and wife are in Missouri. Wife said she can't be here to keep an eye on you so you're not to get married or get in trouble until they get back!!!
Owner Said if it snows you can use the vehicle to clear the driveway. HA HA! Or you can call #### #####. #### said he would plow but if he forgets you should call him at home.
Also - I talked to Rachel about working tonight (Saturday) if I can't make the long journey in from ######. She said she would. I'll try my hardest just so I can see you and brush up against you! Oh how I miss you! I sure hope Rachel doesn't see this and get jealous. She might hurt me.. (heart drawn) Julie

My response on the note from Julie for Phil,,
Phill! How dare you!! I can't believe you and Julie! Right in front of me too! I was so blinded by love I didn't even notice what was going on! I was stupid to think I could get you to settle down. Once a bachelor, always a bachelor. I thought you wanted to be with me.. Me me me me me me me me! NOT JULIE! So what if she's always on time and her gas balances most of the time.. I try! Doesn't that count for anything?! All I can say is thanks.. Thanks for showing me there are no more good men left in this world. I just hope everything works out for you two. I'm not going to try anymore. I guess I'm meant to be alone. (sad face) Rachel

So that's all I have to share for today.. hopefully someday me and my love will meet again.. maybe I'll drop off a note and some flowers to him soon.. I wonder if that will finally put my heart at peace, or only bring back the feelings we both had for each other.. I guess we will all just have to wait until the next chapter in .....
*dramatic music*
Rachel: A Memoir

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