Saturday, August 11, 2012

Mean People and What To Do About Them

I'm having trouble deciding how to word this. I'd like to say my mom doesn't understand what a blog is but that would be a lie, she gets the general concept. That's why its concerning to me when we have conversations like the one we had a few days ago. She told me I should blog about someone in our "family". That is in quotations because we consider a lot of people who aren't necessarily blood family to be apart of our family. That used to really bug Rob, he is more of a facts and figures kind of guy but he eventually just stopped trying to wrap his head around why we do the things we do and life went on. Every once in a while he still tries to figure out what is going on inside our heads but luckily for me he gives up before any real damage is done, a normal human brain just can't handle the madness. So "family" includes all blood relations, half-blood relations, marriage-relations, step relations, people we have known for many years, people we have known for short time but really like, its a pretty open ended thing. Anyways, my mom tells me to blog about this person, who just happens to be someone who is a complete idiot and makes my eye twitch, to kind of "call them out" in a way I guess. So I'm like "Mom, no. You understand anyone can see and read my blog right?" She says yes followed by an evil laugh. So basically my mom is a cyber bully, but I can't blame her. Mean people suck.

Honestly yes, there are several people in my life who I can't stand and have done really mean and stupid things and I would LOVE for everyone to know what jerks they are. But here's the thing about those kind of people, they are really, really stupid or have some kind of mental issue. Seriously, think about it, of all the assholes you know, do any of them seem very intelligent or stable?  They could have a thousand people come up to them and tell them they are a jerk and they will always, ALWAYS have a stupid reason to justify their actions. Or more likely, they will put the blame on someone else "It's how I was raised!" You aren't a barn, you raise a barn and it stays a barn. You are a human with a mind of your own, humans evolve and are constantly changing. If you want to be a better person, all you have to do is do it.

Alas, some people just wanted to stay assholes, so as hard as it is you just have to let it go and let them be ridiculous. Would it make me happy to share with them world how crazy these people are? Yeah, it would make it easier to deal with them if I could vent my anger. Would it really make me happy to bully beatdown their asses? I dunno, if I had to guess I'd say yes, it would probably make me feel really good but everyone knows those type of loud mouths are the first ones who will run and call the police. I've never been to jail, considering my size, my ingenuity, master craft skills and that I'm a total bad-ass I'd probably do ok. Between all the crime shows and Martha Stewart episodes I watch I'm fairly positive I could make a shiv out of anything but I'd really miss my family so I'm forced to take the high road and not go all Mortal Kombat on these people. Plus, in the end they would still be jerks, just jerks with bruises.

See you have to be smart about it, think outside the box, sneaky revenge. For example, someday I might have a really awesome party and invite them but pay everyone else $50 if they promise not to talk to them, or when I win the lottery someday, instead of cash I'll just make a donation to a charity for them and forget to fill out the name part so they never get recognition for it. Possibly at some point I'm going to build a sweet ass treehouse and I'll let them come up but we will sit around awkwardly not talking and then I'll be all like 'I think I hear my husband calling, I better go..." Maybe I'll order pizza someday and accidentally order something they don't like as a topping and offer to make them a sandwich instead but suddenly remember I'm out of bread but I have a stale hamburger bun you can use. When we are around them make constant reference to something random and then be all "Oh sorry, it's kind of an inside joke. hehehe." I can think of a million subtle plans to use on my nemeses, I don't know if it will make me feel better but I'm pretty immature so chances are it would. The real question is would doing these things make me just as evil as they are? Would I turn into the monster that I was fighting in the first place? Would justice really be served or would it turn my world into a sucking vortex of hurt feelings? Possibly but at least for now I can take comfort in the fact that I get to go home every night to two fluffy dogs, a loving husband and a rabbit who sometimes doesn't hate me. That's what makes life worth living!

I should probably end it there but for some reason it feels too mushy. So I'm going to include this picture of all the stuff I cleaned out of that brush roller thing of my vacuum, next to a loofah, that has a mustache on. What? Isn't this how everyone spends their Saturday nights?! Enjoy!

So freaking gross!!! 

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